Darlene Rogers

Hello Middleville my name is Darlene and I am excited to join this wonderful, informative group of caring individuals. I arrived in this area in 2004 and intend to remain as close to the coast as possible. My husband and I have been married for eight years and have a busy blended family of seven. Yes Seven! We have two daughters, three sons, a Poodle and a Rottweiler yet somehow we blend well. I guess that makes Nine! Each child participates in at least two extra- curricular activities,(athletics , social organizations or academic) which means we can tell you the best place to sit on any bleacher as well as which school has the best popcorn on the east coast. Our children range from 19 – 13 years old with completely different personalities. The oldest son is serving our country in the Army and our oldest daughter is in college. The youngest three are currently making career plans from high and middle school. Human service is my field of choice and miraculously completed a masters degree with my busy family schedule last year. I’m currently working in a Human service position with some of the best Marines and their families in the country. It is my pleasure to aide those that due to unforeseen circumstances, need a bit of assistance. My passions are spending time with my family, reading, writing, photography, sketching and cooking. I am looking forward to this new journey here in Middleville, so buckle up as we tour life as we know it.


Handling the Stress and Anxiety of EOG’s

test3Last week marked the end of EOG testing and a bit of anxiety and stress for our tweens.  According to the North Carolina State Board of Education, “The North Carolina End-of-Grade Tests are designed to measure student performance on the goals, objectives, and grade-level competencies specified in the North Carolina Standard Course of Study.”  

My daughter went through a ton of emotions, anxiety and stress and continues to until we get the test results.  The teachers and school had stressed the importance so much and the consequences of failing that the latter message was the one that weighed on her mind.  Mind you she has been on honor roll and is in the gifted program so she really shouldn’t worry.  However, the anxiety and stress are real.  So, how do you help your child manage their school test stress and anxiety?

Surf Net Parent website offered  the following three ideas for helping alleviate your tween’s anxiety about school:

“Tip one: Give your child an antacid. When your child is feeling anxiety they typically need something to settle an upset stomach. An antacid is a great solution for upset stomach and, additionally, they get they added benefit of some much needed calcium. Most tweens need the extra calcium because their bodies are changing and their diets are not providing sufficient vitamins and minerals to sustain the growth and change. If your child will not take an antacid, consider adding more fiber to their diet. A higher-fiber diet with more fruit and veggies can help relieve stomach pain as well. They ease constipation, which can be caused by stress, and a child who is anxious about school will generally suffer from this problem.

Your child’s diet can play a big role in how they handle stresses and anxieties. So, if they are suffering school anxiety, help them lay off the processed and refined foods and kick up the amount of fruits, vegetables and unprocessed or refined foods.

Tip two: Teach your child to talk about their feelings. When a child is suffering stress from school anxiety, getting the burden off their chest by talking about it can be very helpful. So, teach your child to label their feelings. If you can get a better understanding of their true feelings, and the effect those feelings are having on their body, you can better address it. For example, if your tween is stressing about school because of an upcoming math test, they may put those feelings into words like so, “My stomach is all tied up in knots because I do not understand the equations for the math test.” You can then address the stomach side with an antacid, and the lack of understanding side with tutoring.

If your child can’t express to you what is causing their anxiety, you can’t fix it. So, work with your tween to help them put words to their feelings and the reasons behind those feelings.

Tip three: Exercise. If your tween is suffering from school anxiety, consider having them do more exercise. A great workout where you break a sweat and get your muscles moving can be extremely useful for eliminating stress and anxiety. So, if your kid comes home stressed, take them for a brisk walk or get them playing a physical sport and you will see that their mood will perk up immediately.”

Has anyone else dealt with test anxiety or stress with your tween?  If so, how do you handle it?  Suggestions?

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3 Comments on “Handling the Stress and Anxiety of EOG’s”

  • Trinyan May 28th, 2010 8:52 am

    Sounds like the school could use some helpful reminders on how to prepare kids to take those tests. So much rides on them for the school these days, but the more frightened and anxious the kids are, the worse they will perform. Emphasizing the consequences of failure is a terrible approach. Empowering kids with the sense that they are ready and they can do it would be a much more productive approach.

    A few other things you could do to prepare your tween at home: 1. A good night’s sleep, especially the night before the test; 2. Comfortable clothes with layers that can be added and removed depending on the temperature in the room; 3. Food for energy the morning of the test and pack some snacks for during the test, if the school allows it.

    But above all . . . keep any preparations low key.

    I don’t think my son ever really cared about those tests, but when he was nervous about other things, I found working through worst case scenarios was helpful. We’d think about “what is the worst thing that can happen?” If your tween is old enough to understand the humor, you can start with something funny like your brains could begin leaking out of your nostrils . . . or your eyes could go cross-eyed and remain locked that way during the test.

    But then let them tell you their realistic fears–they will freeze up and not be able to think straight; they will get sick during the test; they will have to go to the bathroom 10 times; they won’t be able to read clearly; they will start to make mistakes; they will not be able to answer all the questions in time; etc. Let the fears come from them instead of adding new ones for them to worry about. Making a plan for how to handle the bad stuff can remove the fear of the unknown and add the feeling of being prepared.

    Knowing your tween personally, tell her from me that I know that if she just answers the questions to the best of her ability, she will absolutely rock that test. If something unforeseen occurs and she isn’t able to do her best, she’ll probably do well enough to pass anyway. But if she doesn’t pass, nothing horrible will happen. The other kids will never know. And it only means she’ll get to take the test again another time. No biggie.

  • Kristen Paulsen May 28th, 2010 8:57 am

    Great suggestions! My daughter actually scored extremely well as I would have predicted and has greatly been relieved. She’s just frustrated becuase only 4 in her class passed and this past week has been review/tutoring for the rest and next week is re-tests, I get frustrated because she has no homework this week nor will she probably have any next week, she reports being “bored” because so many kids didn’t pass and are getting prepared for re-tests, yet I would get in trouble if I took her out for the next few days to teach her at home. Frustration. She doesn’t mind though and we “teach” at home anyway. Luck her. haha. I love your insight Trin and appreciate your time in reading and commenting and sharing your expereinces!

  • Trinyan May 29th, 2010 8:26 am

    Good for her the little smarty-pants!

    That’s sortof stunning that only 4 kids passed. What’s going on down there??!! How frustrating too. Is the gifted program enough to keep you guys in that school system?!

    BTW, what a joke with taking weeks of the semester to try to teach the test. First, any grade level competency test that students can study for and retake and pass in the matter of a couple of weeks is a worthless test. Second, what a waste of resources and time for your daughter! I would be livid. If that happened here, the principal, superintendent, and school board would need to be prepared because the parents would go absolutely berserk.

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